Wrestling with God

Recently I was really struggling with something that God asked me to do. I had to confront someone - which I hate doing - and was quite concerned about how to do it with grace and love. Especially since it was a really hard thing to say.

As I lay in bed and argued with God, I used the term "wrestling" in my head. I told God that I was tired of wrestling with him.

But then he brought to mind an image of my children wrestling. When they wrestle, they work to pin each other down. They are merciless in dragging their opponent to the floor and then literally laying on top of each other to shout in the weaker child's face, "I pinned you!".

As I thought about wrestling with God, I realized that this image was not at all how I feel. Obviously, God is sooo very much more powerful than me and could easily pin me down and laugh in my face. "Haha! You lose. Now do what I've asked you to do!"

Instead, it's a bit more like fencing. After God gently lays on my heart what I am to do, he stands back and blocks all of my defensive thrusts. I complain, I rant, I whine ... and he just patiently waits until I run out of strength and finally surrender to his will. It's never a battle of strength.

It's more like I throw excuses at God and he blocks my advances by showing me how silly I am.

I have to say that it really makes me feel good to know that I have a God who could easily overpower me, but who is gentle and kind and chooses to let me discover that his way is always best. He truly is a loving father. Not one who yells at his child and says, "Do this because I said so", but gently shares the best way with us and then patiently responds to our questions, fears and objections. Eventually we must come to the conclusion that he knows what he's talking about and loves us despite our own hesitancy to trust him. Praise God!