Parents, the buck stops with you. Talk to your kids about porn.

A mother reached out on facebook today after finding that her 9 year old son was viewing pornography on his dad's phone. I know no other particulars than that. Her search for advice on what to do came through a Christian forum for mothers of boys.

With five boys and another on the way, I am passionate about this issue. How do we protect our kids from the influence and addictiveness of pornography when it's EVERYWHERE?? And to be clear, this is not just an issue that affects boys. Parents of girls need to be vigilant too.

So, what advice was given to this mom? As I read the first several comments I was shocked. There were the helpful links to protective software, and several people saying they had gone through this with their own kids. But a lot of what I saw were what I considered to be soft, politically correct answers. "It's natural", "boys are just curious about sex", "make sure he feels no shame over this discovery". And even one who suggested that mothers shouldn't be the ones talking with their boys about sex.

I'm sorry, WHAT?

Yes, curiosity is normal. Viewing porn is NOT. Pornography - especially for children - is never "natural". Saying that someone should feel no shame in viewing pornography is basically giving the go ahead to enjoy sin. And intimating that only one parent should openly speak with children can create confusion and lead to more secrecy.

I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Here's a snippet of what I wrote in reply to this mother's question:


I have to strongly disagree with the comments that curiosity is normal and not to worry about it. With a husband who's a pastor we see far too often the devastating effects of porn addiction. Nobody sets out planning to wreck their life or family through viewing what is pleasurable. If you don't take the time to teach your son self control now it will be so much harder for him as an adult.

I know my comment is passionate and stern, but these are MEN we are raising! Men who we hope will be responsible, productive, leaders with great character. That takes diligence and often hard choices on the part of the parent. This is a crucial moment.


I also talked about the precautions we take as a family regarding internet and media, and briefly shared that we had personally faced this issue at home.

I posted my comment assuming based on previous replies that my comment would be taken as harsh, rigid, and all about rules. Less than three hours later more than 200 people had liked my comment and several had verbalized their agreement.

So why all the soft comments before mine? Why hadn't others taken time to state the obvious - that protecting the purity of our children is ULTRA important? And why weren't others voicing the very real dangers of pornography?

I honestly think that we've become so used to having to keep quiet and only agree with one another that we're afraid to speak up or be different. Here's the thing. When it comes to your family, have the guts to stand up for what is right! Be the mean parent if you have to be. Be the weird ones that don't participate in the "latest, greatest". If you deem it as damaging, then say no. Long term health for our kids and our families is so much more important that fitting in for the moment. I'm preaching to you adults here! Show your kids that self control is possible through your own decisions. Demonstrate for them how to be different, pure, strong. Share with your kids about your own struggles with sin and allow them to be vulnerable with you. Please, don't assume your kids are "fine" just because you haven't heard of any issues yet. Check in and begin conversations.

I recently had the privilege of hearing some parents talk with their teen about the pornography they had found him looking at. He quietly admitted that the day they found out was the worst day of his life. He was so ashamed. BUT THEN, he looked at his parents and said they had done the right thing by removing his phone. He thanked them for their interference because he no longer had to hide and he felt safer from that which was so tempting to him. His honesty floored me. But it also confirmed what I've known for a long time. Kids want their parents to watch out for them!

Parents, the buck stops with you. There is an endless barrage of material for our kids to see and hear at any moment. And as we all know, they are curious by nature. Guide that curiosity and TALK, TALK, TALK! Be vigilant, be proactive, stand firm. Your kids are counting on you and our society needs men and women of character. It's up to you.

Message of Hope to the Whining Mom

(photo credit: inkwellinspirations.com)

Today I'm sick. I have lost my voice and have struggled all day to communicate to my children using large gestures, finger snaps, and whistles. But worse than me being sick is seeing my littlest fight the same bug. His fever is high and his little head is miserable in all ways: stuffy nose, watery eyes, sore throat, and headache.

He spent much of the day snuggling on my lap today. Every so often I'd try to coax some liquid into his mouth despite his protests. But for the most part we sat in silence. Me due to laryngitis and he due to pure exhaustion.

At one point this afternoon, just about the time that his meds were wearing off, I heard his whines change to a familiar sound. My little one year old began singing "Hallelujah". He closed his eyes, raised his arm, and offered praise to his Maker. After a few times through, he looked at me and clearly expected that I would sing along. Normally, this is our routine, but today I had little voice to be able to join in. His insistence won out though, and I quietly croaked out hallelujahs with him.

Moments before, I had been the picture of patient motherhood. But inside I had been a complaining, whiny mess. While my baby whined outwardly, I whined in my mind. "Why now? I have so much to do!", "Are we ever going to finally be healthy again?", "How am I to speak at a baby shower, attend a prayer service, and bring a meal to another family tomorrow when THIS is what my day will be like?", "Lord, I thought you called me to these things, and now you've left me here to wallow in runny noses and complaining children!"

And then ... "Hallelujah!"

There was my little one reminding me, forcing me to praise the Lord.

We are sick. This is not the norm for us. Hallelujah!

I may have to miss events tomorrow. There are many ready to jump in and pinch hit for me. Hallelujah!

Germs abide in our house. Clorox wipes do too. Hallelujah!

We missed a day of homeschooling. We watched several shows connected to our studies on India that I've been having trouble fitting into the schedule. Hallelujah!

I am cooking for someone else tomorrow. Because of their dietary needs, I had planned a very simple soup that's a cinch to make. And, it's not us needing the meals. Hallelujah!

I fuss about sitting on the couch cradling a feverish baby. The videos we watched depicted families sitting on dirt floors cradling dying children. My situation is not so bad. Hallelujah!


From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet: all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! - Psalm 8:2-9

Hallelujah!

Last Minute FREE Stocking Stuffers

Christmas is only a few days away. Hopefully you've made good headway on your shopping, cards, baking, and preparations. But if you're like me, you may look through your stash of stocking stuffers to find you're a bit short.

What to do?

Here's a simple idea that takes little time but will be appreciated by kids. Plus, it has the bonus of being tailored to your specific children and is limited only by your own creativity!

This year I made about 10 special coupons for each of my older kids. I had fun thinking of things they'd really like ... or things they'd enjoy NOT having to do.

Here's what a few of my coupons looked like. I wrote them with specific names on each one so that the kids won't be able to trade them. No fair suckering a younger sibling to give up a movie night in exchange for one less chore!







Other ideas include things like a special date with mom or dad where the kid picks the activity or food, getting out of cleaning the basement (which is our toy abyss), inviting a friend over for the afternoon, and some extra time for video games. Since we homeschool I was even able to put in a coupon for skipping one subject on a particularly frustrating school day.

But this is my particular favorite:




Have fun with it! It's a free and fun way to add a personal touch to your gift giving. It'll show your kids how well you know them and can even set you up for some special moments with them.

Merry Christmas!

Potty Train Quickly and With Minimal Stress

Image from adventureswiththepooh.wordpress.com

I'll start right out with this: I hate potty training. With child number five I spent several weeks in denial before finally admitting that the day to start was staring me right in the face. But I'm about to let you in on a little secret about potty training. It can be done with just one seriously intense day and about a week of reminders for your little one.

The first thing we've done is let go of the expectation that our 18 month old or 2 year old will potty train successfully. We wait until our kids are three years old. This is especially for boys, but I'd wait with girls until at least closer to 2 1/2. There are several cognitive abilities that need to be developed before children are ready to train. They must be able to hear, remember, and obey at least three simple directions at once. So, something like, "Run to the potty, pull down your undies, and pee," must be a reasonable request.

(A lot of people talk about using peeing dolls to aid in their child's understanding. Hogwash! Why go and buy an expensive doll that drinks and pees when you can just set your child up in the bathroom with Mom or Dad (depending on the sex of your child) to watch an actual live person? Dolls are great for pretend, but you want your child to go potty in reality. So show them how.)

We begin by really talking up the potty experience long before we actually start using the potty. We build anticipation and talk about how diapers are for babies and undies are for big boys/girls. We let our child watch us go potty to get an idea of what he'll be doing. And we talk about it in excited tones and with big smiles.

On the day of, we take off the diaper in the morning and congratulate our child on becoming a big boy. It is absolutely crucial to this method that you switch completely to underwear! Even at bedtime. Yes, it sounds painful for mom and dad, and it can be, but it is necessary to give the message that they are no longer a baby and only wear underwear.

We take our child to the potty. Most of our boys have started out by standing. Three year old boys are typically just the right height to stand at the potty. They don't need to direct their pee because it just heads straight into the toilet. We've had one boy prefer to start sitting, but within a week he was willing to try standing. Sometimes, putting cheerios into the toilet for boys to aim at can be very helpful. Girls are easier because they don't have to aim. Sit them on the seat and let them go!

One tip I haven't personally tried but have heard works well is turning children to face the back of the toilet when sitting. It allows them to hug the tank and feel more secure on the toilet. I typically let my children hug me if they feel insecure, so I haven't tried turning them around, but it sounds like a great idea (and a back saver for mom!).

It may take a few times of trying before your child really gets the feeling of going potty. We had one child try for the entire day and finally at 8pm went 9 times in a row in the potty. What a relief! Most kids don't take that long.

You begin by first having your child feel the front of their undies. You ask if the undies are dry or wet and he will reply with dry. You praise him for having dry undies! Explain that dry undies are comfortable and that dry undies are what we want to have. Have your child try to go potty. Even if they can't yet, it's okay. Tell them that you are proud of them for trying. Since their undies are dry, let them have a treat. My kids love candy and it's a rarity in the house. We just put out a bowl of m&m's and whenever they have dry undies, they get one.

Set your timer for 10 minutes and let your child play. At the end of 10 minutes, go to your child and have them check their undies. Are they dry or wet? If dry, praise them and bring them to the bathroom to try going. If they have stayed dry through trying, give them a treat.

If your child is able to actually pee into the toilet, throw a party! Call a family member or friend who will celebrate on the phone with you. Clap and cheer and make a huge deal out of it. Give the child 2 m&m's for going in the potty.

Continue to set the timer for every 10 minutes that first day. It's a long day. Long. It may be wise to begin on a day when your spouse can relieve you from potty duty halfway through the day. If you have older children, involve them in the process.

It WILL happen that your child will wet in their underwear. When you ask your child to check their undies and the response is that the undies are wet, the real work begins. This is the time to practice getting to the potty. Voice your dismay at wet undies. Explain that when he needs to pee, he should run to the bathroom. Then say, "Let's practice!" Grab his hand and run with him to the bathroom. Pull down the wet undies and have him try going. If he can't pee (which he usually can't because he's just gone in his undies), pull up the wet underwear. Leave the wet undies on! This sounds awful, but it's a key part of the training. Go to a different spot in the house and start the exercise over again. Ask if the undies are dry. Of course, you'll get the answer that they aren't. Remind your child that when he needs to pee, he must run to the bathroom. Run with him and have him try to go again. Do this 10 times. Yes, 10 times.

At first, your child will think this is a fun game. After a few times of wet underwear, he'll hate it and so will you. But it very clearly sends the message that wet undies are undesirable. He'll very quickly learn that it's worth it to get to the potty before he pees.

Once the practice is done and you've accomplished your 10th try of running to the bathroom, you give your child fresh, dry underwear. Then have him check and praise him for having dry undies. Give him an m&m. If at any time during the practice he is able to get some pee into the potty, praise him and discontinue the practice. Give him fresh undies and a treat.

I have trained 5 children with this method and all have been using the potty consistently by the end of the first day. Typically they still have about one accident a day for the first three or four days. When your child takes himself to the bathroom without any prompting, you can consider him trained. That sometimes takes up to a week. Until then, continue prompting, but stretch the amount of time between prompts.

Hints:

Push the fluids on the day of potty training. The more your child drinks the more opportunities for success they will have.

Have a special treat for bowel movements. These are sometimes scary for kids, so promising a really special treat can help them buck up their courage.

Plan to be home for about a week. Until your child is really comfortable with using the bathroom in your home, you shouldn't introduce a different bathroom. And for a long time (months), any time you go out, point out where the bathroom is immediately upon arriving at your destination.

Fill the day with positives. The practice times are hard emotionally. Be sure that you are filling up your child with positive remarks all day long. And maybe order in pizza as a positive for you!

Set a flannel backed plastic tablecloth underneath your child's bedsheet. Bed wetting will happen in the beginning. Be prepared with extra sheets, underwear, and a blanket on hand.

Plastic underwear covers are your friend. If potty training in the summer, beware that these cause your child to sweat. But these will keep most of the pee in the underwear cover instead of on the bed. And it allows your child to still feel the sensation of wetness intead of absorbing it like a diaper or pull up would.

Have patience, and take this all with a grain of salt. With six kids, I now know that there is no formula to parenting. What works for your friend's kids may not work for yours. And what works for one child in a family may not work for their siblings. With that said, please recognize that while this method has worked for five of my children, please do not use it if you feel it won't work for yours. You know your children best!

Ordinary Grows Beauty

I recently watched this video promoting Francis and Lisa Chan's book "You and Me Forever".



The video features our friends, Mike and Sharon, who, after having three children went on to adopt nine more. Their children are growing up and some have reached adulthood and are doing amazing things for the Kingdom of God. It's easy to look at their family and think that their life must be charmed. But I know they have faced plenty of hardships and difficulties. Sharon says it in her own words in the video and this particular quote stuck with me long after the video stopped playing.

"Serving God takes a lot of submission and a lot of repetitious, unglamorous work. I think people can look at our family and see 12 vivacious kids and think, 'Wow! What a beautiful thing!' But that involved years and years of doing the same thing over and over again. You have to be willing to make yourself nothing sometimes and then He blesses those efforts in the end and makes it into something beautiful."

I love this quote because it so well describes what life really is. Behind every person doing great things for the Lord is a lot of day in and day out faithfulness. It takes me straight to the verse I have adopted as my motto for these years with children at home. "Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin." (Zechariah 4:10) And this, "Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." (Luke 12:48)

Probably very few of those reading this will have 12 kids like the Dennehy clan. And none of us will have identical lives to each other. But each of us has been given much with which to be faithful. Perhaps it's your work, your family, your possessions, your ministry, your friends. We all have small beginnings in our lives; areas in which we are called to work faithfully. Things that require day in and day out, over and over again actions. Things that can seem monotonous, dull, and frustrating in the moment.

Whether or not you look closely enough at someone's life to see the mundane, it is there. I know it is present in my life. The question then is not, "Will I have to do the mundane, ordinary things to serve God?" The question is, "How can I be faithful in doing the mundane and ordinary?"

The answer? Keep on. Do the next thing and practice thankfulness. Remember your blessings and from whom they come. Be faithful even in these little things and God will make something beautiful out of the ordinary.

A Room for the Lego Enthusiast

Little plastic bricks of varying shapes and sizes. Red, yellow, green, blue, gray, black, and white. Hair pieces, heads, weapons, legs, and head gear. Wheels and gears, windows and doors.

If you know what I'm talking about then you must have at least one lego enthusiast in your home. I have six, counting my husband and not yet counting our youngest child! Lego has exploded in my home. My children save money to buy lego, they ask for it for gifts, and a visit to a lego store is like stumbling upon the holy grail.



With so many lego enthusiasts, we decided to swap out our guest room for a lego room. About a year and a half ago we made the switch and I have never done a better thing for my sanity. For the most part, we let the kids go wild in there. They rarely clean it, and aside from our board games and a file cabinet, the room is completely devoted to lego. Lego is expected to stay in the lego room. No more vacuuming little pieces, no more death by lego for unsuspecting feet.

We began by putting a large table in our lego room (see pic above). It was our old kitchen table. We figured the kids would be able to use the surface for building and keep most lego off the floor. Wrong! Instead, they all fought over the space on the table. One would start a big project and then the others wouldn't have room for their buildings. We have now moved to a different solution.

We purchased six of these end tables from Ikea for $7.99 each.



To spruce them up a bit, I painted each child's initial on a table. That way we can avoid all the squabbles over who gets to build where. Each child now has their own place to build.



Originally, we had also put up a long shelf in the lego room. This was for those special projects that the kids just weren't ready to tear apart yet. Our kids are really into Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and The Hobbit. So naturally they have purchased many sets from those movies. Instead of building the sets once and then tearing them apart, we allow them to keep the sets on the shelf and bring them down for play. As they find they don't play with particular sets, they can pull them apart and place the pieces in a labeled ziploc bag. That way each kid knows which sets are theirs and they also keep all the pieces together. As adults they can either bring those lego sets to their own households or they can choose to sell them online. (We also keep the original boxes flattened in storage in case the kids want to sell the sets someday.) We found recently that one shelf was not quite enough, so we added a second.



Now, here's the part that really is up to individual preference. How do you store all the lego?? We used to keep our lego in a giant rolling toolbox. The special pieces went in the top compartments and the rest was in a big jumble. Our kids grew very frustrated wanting to find specific pieces but having to look through such a large mass of lego. In setting up our lego room, we decided to organize by type. We went to Menards and bought this wall system.



Originally we used double sided tape to place a piece of each type on the front of each container so the kids would know where things went. Those pieces have long since fallen off, but the kids still remember where the pieces belong. They have sorted them by size (1x4, 2x1, 4x4, etc) and by type (windows and doors, people, weapons, gears, etc.). It works well for us and is actually the way the professionals sort their lego.



We also have this little set of drawers to keep specialized parts in.



Lastly, we keep binders full of the directions that come with various sets. Without a specific place for these, we found that direction packets would often get trampled underfoot and end up ripped or crumpled. That just results in frustration for everyone!

We love the function of our lego room. And as a mom, I love the creativity that I see in my kids through what they build. If allowed, our kids would spend hours upon hours playing with lego. It has cut down on our kids' desire for video games and other less-healthy play. And it allows their imaginations to run wild.



Do you have specific ways to deal with the lego monster at your house? I'd love to hear about it!

Why Worship?

(Source)


I was glad when they said to me, "Let us go to the house of the LORD!" - Psalm 122:1

I've been thinking about this verse for many months now. If I'm honest, I can say that there have been many weekends that start with gladness and end with grumbling. My time at church begins with thoughts of joy to be in the Lord's house and end with complaints about my children. I typically end up sitting downstairs watching the service on a TV screen, nursing a baby and trying to contain a toddler with a quiet activity so that I can actually hear the sermon.

You'd think that with two services per weekend and the pastor available in my own home I'd be able to somehow eek out a full sermon's worth of listening. But week after week passes and when we arrive home I find myself venting frustration to my husband about how little I get out of the church service. I am a single parent in the pew as my husband preaches and leads the service. And sometimes I feel like my six children gang up on me!

In the last few weeks alone my children have broken two pews, ripped a hymnal, drawn in a church Bible, hummed through the entire service, sprawled out in the aisle during the sermon, distracted people during the children's sermon, and run like hooligans throughout the sanctuary. We've had many friends rescue us by sitting with one of the littles. I'm so thankful for those friends!

I know some of you are commiserating with me. You have the same problem. Week after week you bring your children to church and find that you return home feeling like you've been through a war. I meet you downstairs in the fellowship hall and you're just as strung out as I am. Perhaps you've reached the point of deciding to just forego bringing your kids to church until they are older. Maybe you don't even bother to come yourself during this time of intense parenting.

I don't judge you. I get it. And some Sundays I wonder why I am doing this over and over and over again.

It all comes down to this question: Why do we worship?

Is worship for me? Is it for my children? Is it so that I can tank up to survive another hectic week? Is the reason for church attendance so that I can put a check in the box now that I've done my religious duty? Or is there something more?

If worship is about me or my children then I can say it's not working on most weekends. It can't be just to fill me up, because I am often drained from the war in the pew. If I only go to fulfill a religious duty, then it's meaningless and empty.

No, worship is not about me. Worship is for the One I worship. The songs we sing focus our hearts on Christ. They remind us of Jesus' sacrifice, God's holiness, the hope of our salvation. The study of the Word teaches us more about the God we serve and draws us closer to Him. We learn how to live our lives in accordance with God's will and are brought face to face with the beauty of Christ. Worship is about God and for God. It springs from deep within us as we are stirred by the Holy Spirit. And then there's fellowship with other believers. And while that is filling, it is also a form of worship. A time to encourage one another, share what we are learning, and share one another's burdens.

I asked my daughter what she has learned from watching me go through this stage of struggle with the little ones. Her reply was this, "I've learned that you should worship God nomatter what."

Wow! That's a profound thought for a 10 year old. And do you know when that knowledge is going to be most helpful to her? When she's facing a difficult time in life. When her heart is breaking, when her health is weak, when her finances are a mess. At those times she will remember, "you worship God nomatter what."

It reminds me of the song that my kids love to belt out at the top of their lungs: Blessed Be Your Name by Matt Redman.

Blessed be Your name
When the suns's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name.

Yes! That's it! We worship when it's easy and when it's hard. Circumstances don't alter our need to worship the Lord of Lords. So whether it's just you in the pew, rested and completely focused, or if there are young children wrestling noisily by your side, worship is meant to be constant.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in ALL CIRCUMSTANCES; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

The Making of a Man

In many cultures around the world, boys go through a ceremony or ritual. This is often a proving time. A time for them to demonstrate that they can take on the responsibilities of manhood. It's a setting apart. These boys begin the ceremony as a child and exit a man.

Here in the U.S. we have no such custom. We don't have special events that call boys to be young men. I think partly because of this, we see men in their twenties and even thirties clinging to the fun of boyhood, playing video games, living with Mom and Dad, shirking responsibility.

With a house full of five boys and one girl, we wanted something different for our young men. Traditionally, the age of 13 is the beginning of manhood. In the west, we've pushed that age to 18 or beyond. Society says the teen years are for experimentation, for boundary crossing, and for much indulgence. But as Josh and I anticipated the teen years, we knew we wanted to expect something different from our children than the norm.

We decided to have a ceremony to usher our oldest into manhood at the age of 13. Oh, we don't expect that he'll have it all together at such a young age. We're not kicking him out of the house or forcing him to work so he can contribute toward rent and food. Instead, we created a time for men to speak into his life, encourage him in his gifts and abilities, and push him toward great things.

On a Saturday evening shortly after our son's birthday, we invited several men to a special location. We utilized a friend's house set in a quiet, beautiful location. These men included grandfathers, elders in the church, and respected friends. All were grown men, except for our one 13 year old. All aspects of the evening were kept secret from our son until the actual time of the gathering. It was quite fun to watch his nervous excitement knowing that something special was about to happen.



We arranged a nice dinner of our teen's favorite foods. The attendees all arrived dressed in suits and ties. It was an evening clearly meant for something special. Each man was given the opportunity to share about what makes a good man. Each was able to speak directly to our 13 year old. Some shared about the leadership qualities they see in him, others told stories from their own youth. Josh talked about the legacy of our family, showing the family crest, and passing on the mantle of manhood to our son.

And then the best part. These men all gathered around our son, laid hands on him, and prayed for him. They petitioned the God of all the universe to lead, protect, and grow our son. Several men were invited from out of state and those wrote special letters containing their own words of wisdom and prayer. Those are a keepsake that our son will have to look back on to see how the prayers of these men shaped his early years of manhood.



The last aspect of the ceremony came a little late for the ceremony. We purchased a piece of armor for our son. Since he is the oldest, he received a helmet like the Romans would have worn. It is our hope to give each of our children one piece of armor as they reach their teens. Part of what we are training our children for is to be warriors in the Kingdom of God. No, not warriors with swords and shields. But warriors in a spiritual battle. Warriors who recognize that the greatest weapon is prayer; who are fitted with the spiritual armor talked of in Ephesians 6:10-20. Armor that includes the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the belt of truth, the shield of faith, the shoes of the gospel of peace, and the sword of the Spirit. These pieces of armor are symbolic of what is needed for our children to stand firm in their faith nomatter what may come.



It has been five months since my son's entrance into manhood. I see in him a young man eager to do great things and longing to make a difference. I love to hear his ambitions and witness his determination as he works toward those goals. He is not a typical teen. He is a young man.



(For those concerned that our daughter is missing out ... she'll also have a ceremony of some sort and receive a piece of armor. Although her ceremony is likely to be slightly different and will be attended by the important women in her life.)

DIY Flannel Board

A certain little two year old in my life loves playing with magnets and stickers. He actually likes anything that can be put somewhere and feels great accomplishment after doing so. It may be keys in the trash can, phones placed on a random bookshelf, or batteries shoved into the VCR.

To provide a constructive outlet for his "putting" obsession, I created a flannelboard to give him at Christmas. It was super easy and I think he's going to love it.

To start with, head to a craft store. You'll need the following:

one art canvas - any size
flannel material - any color and large enough to cover the canvas with a little extra
rectangles of white felt - these are sold by the sheet and are usually around 9"x11"
printable iron-on transfer sheets.
(I got these at Walmart for much cheaper than at craft stores like Hobby Lobby. Craft stores had them 2 sheets for $10. I found them at Walmart 7 sheets for $10. I purchased the ones that are transfers for light fabric. If you choose to have darker felt pieces, then buy specific transfers for dark fabric.)
a pillowcase
a staple gun
an iron

To begin, iron out your flannel to remove any wrinkles. Then carefully and tightly wrap the flannel around the front of the canvas. Secure it to the back of the canvas using the staple gun. You should end up with a tightly stretched flannel canvas. You can trim the excess flannel after the whole piece is secured well.



Next, use your computer to find images you'd like to use for your flannel board pieces. You could just use felt to create your own pieces, but I'm not artistic enough for that. Some people use fabric paint, googly eyes, and all sorts of fancy things to make the felt pieces. For me, printing the images from the computer was good enough! Once you've chosen the images you want, just print them onto your printable transfer sheets. **Be sure to read the directions carefully so that you are printing on the right side!**



And a word to the wise. Numbers and letters will iron on backwards from how they print. So be sure they are printed backwards in order to have them correctly ironed on to your felt.

Once you've printed out your images, simply follow the directions on your transfer sheet package to iron the images onto the felt. It is not recommended to iron on an ironing board. Instead use the kitchen counter top and simply place a pillow case between the counter and your felt.

Once the transfers are complete, cut carefully around the images and voila! You have yourself a flannel board and several felt pieces to go with it! You can even place the pieces in a cute little container to keep things organized.



The thing I love about this is that I can add to the pieces as my children's interests change. Right now, he loves all things that move and animals. So I made him a barn set, a fishing scene, and several emergency vehicles and personnel. However, I'm sure that in the next month or two I'll be adding an entire Thomas the Tank Engine set complete with a roundabout and track. I also think a set of food in a restaurant series would be pretty neat. The possibilities are endless!

Purpose-filled Christmas Cards

Do you ever wonder what to do with all the beautiful Christmas cards that come in the mail at this time of year? Sure, some of them have pictures of friends which you can then put on your fridge. But others are just cards with a little note tucked in. It seems a shame to quickly read them and then toss them in the garbage. Why not do something productive with them since people have taken the time and expense to send them to you?


image from itsbetterhandmade.com

Last year a friend posted a status on facebook that has had me anticipating the arrival of Christmas cards for 12 months! She and her family recently left their comfortable home in the States to live in Kenya as missionaries. They gave up much and left all of their friends and family to live in an unknown place amongst strangers. Perhaps because of a little homesickness, the Christmas cards that made it to them in Africa were extra special. My sweet friend wrote something like this (and I'm paraphrasing): We love receiving the cards from friends and family. It is a joy to open one each evening, read the card and look at the picture, and then spend time in prayer for the ones who sent it.

Her post was like a refreshing glass of water! The sometimes seemingly ridiculous nature of sending out cards once a year was suddenly given new purpose. We receive cards from so many friends and family members. Cards that remind us of lasting friendships, cards that celebrate new life and wonderful happenings, cards that tell of sadness and hardship. While I love to get and read Christmas cards, I've found that my family rarely joins in. The kids look at the pictures sent, but often see only a sea of strangers. My husband reads the ones that I force into his hands, but otherwise takes no part in this particular holiday tradition.


This year will be different though! As we sit and enjoy our dinner together, we'll choose a different card each night to read. We'll tell of how we know the sender. As a family we'll rejoice or mourn with those we love while we read their news. And then we'll do something productive. We'll pray for the one who sent the card. We'll join our voices and our hearts together and seek the Lord on their behalf. Why? Because Christmas isn't about cards and gifts and busy schedules. Christmas is about Jesus. And one of the ways we honor Him is by loving our neighbors - nomatter how far away.

We've already begun our new tradition. And while the kids aren't used to it yet, I hope we'll get enough cards to be going long into January. I've already peeked at tonight's card and it's one from friends who have recently returned to the mission field in a very difficult place. I look forward to a sweet time of prayer for this dear couple, and I look forward to the seeds it will plant in my own children's hearts as they hear of God's work in the lives of others around the world.

Advent Calendar

As our kids are getting older, we've enjoyed using an advent calendar through the month of December. For years we've talked of doing a Jesse tree, but can't seem to find the time to put it together. Last year we used a lego advent calendar and while it was fun for the kids, it didn't do anything to point us toward the real reason for celebrating Christmas.

This year I looked on pinterest for ideas and put a few different ideas together to come up with this:

I bought 12 pairs of baby mittens. You can look for Christmas themed ones, but I like that these are "wintery" instead of "Christmasy". I then took little tags and wrote the numbers 1-24 on one side and pinned them to the inside of the mitten.

On the other side of the tag is a list of Scriptures to read each day.

All of these mittens are hung with small (but not tiny) clothes pins. These can be found at craft stores like Michaels or Hobby Lobby. The rope is actual clothes line that we used on our clothes line outside. This is the leftover. It's sturdy enough to hold anything we put inside the mittens, but is green and pretty enough to work for Christmas decor.

Just before December first we'll also put a little treat inside each mitten so the kids can take turns looking inside. They'll receive a little gift (likely candy) and read the Scripture for the day. We plan to incorporate this into our normal morning devotions during breakfast.

What do I like about this?
1. It's reuseable. Each year we can pull it out and use it again and again.
2. The kids will have a fun thing to do to build anticipation as we move toward Christmas day.
3. It's doesn't end with the fun. We will read the Scripture verses and talk about what really matters.


Here are the verses we're using each day. These came recommended to us, but we haven't yet tried using them in this order for advent. We'll see how it goes. I've been thinking about using a second set of tags that has more of the prophecies from Isaiah and switching back and forth each year. But here's a starting place.

Day 1: Luke 2:21-40
Day 2: Matthew 1:1-25
Day 3: Luke 2:1-20
Day 4: Mark 9:33-37
Day 5: Matthew 4:12-17, Isaiah 9:1-3, Matthew 5:14-16
Day 6: Acts 20:35, I John 4:10
Day 7: Exodus 25
Day 8: Matthew 25:31-46
Day 9: Isaiah 9:6-7, Revelation 19:1-16, I Timothy 6:11-16
Day 10: Matthew 1:22-23, Isaiah 7:10-15, John 1:14
Day 11: Genesis 1:1-31, Isaiah 1:18, Psalm 51:1-10
Day 12: Revelation 2:1-5, I John 3:1-3
Day 13: Psalm 150
Day 14: Acts 15:22-31
Day 15: Luke 1, Jeremiah 32:17
Day 16: Matthew 2:1-12
Day 17: Galatians 4:1-7
Day 18: Isaiah 58, Matthew 6:16-18
Day 19: Luke 11:1-13
Day 20: John 1
Day 21: John 21:25
Day 22: Psalm 100
Day 23: Matthew 25
Day 24: John 3:16

Small Beginnings

My days are currently filled with lots of sitting. Sitting to nurse the baby, sitting to hold the baby, sitting to read to my toddler, sitting to do schoolwork with the older kids. In fact, I’m finding it hard to be up enough just to get the dishes done or food on the table. Forget cleaning the house!

I had forgotten what it’s like to have a toddler and a newborn. I’ve done this several other times (even a newborn with three toddlers!), but it was several years ago. And now, with so many older kids who don’t nap it’s much harder to keep the house tidy and keep up with all that needs to get done.

I’m not complaining. Motherhood is the career I’ve always wanted. I’m thrilled that I have the privilege of teaching my children at home … knowing them so well and seeing firsthand the growth in character, body, mind, and spirit. But I will admit that it’s been frustrating for me to have life slow down to a near stop as we adjust once more to having a newborn in the house.

The other night Josh and I were discussing something completely unrelated to parenting when he rattled off a verse that caused me to stop him midsentence. I was so struck by what he had just said that I ditched our conversation and had him point me to the specific Bible verse he had quoted.

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin.” (Zechariah 4:10 NLT)

This is a verse that needs to be plastered throughout my house. If I could see my own forehead throughout the day, I’d write it there. This verse should be touted as a banner verse for mothering … for parents everywhere who are frustrated by the slow progress and repetitive nature of raising children.

Today, as I go through my day of nursing the baby again, washing the dishes once more, folding another set of clean clothes, picking up the toys that were just cleaned up an hour ago, re-explaining a math concept for the four hundred and sixty-seventh time, desperately trying to come up with a new and fresh way to drive home the importance of respect … in short, parenting yet another day moment by moment … this verse rings through my head. And I am reminded that these small beginnings are just that – the beginning. I am teaching skills that will be necessary throughout my child’s life. Skills that they will someday teach to their own children. Skills that will aid them in the workplace, the home, the community, the church. My job may feel redundant and mundane, but it is essential. And the Lord rejoices to see me begin these small things with my children.

Am I taking the verse out of context here? Yes. And I know that. But the overall pattern of Scripture shows a God who uses ordinary people in insignificant places doing small things to transform the world. This verse so pierced my heart and convicted me of my own selfish attitude in regards to motherhood. If I’m honest with myself, I can see that I often despise the small things throughout my day. I sigh when I see the dishes in the sink, I inwardly groan when faced with another mountain of laundry, I complain in the middle of the night when another child wakens needing Mommy. But this is what I am called to and if I can see the joy in beginning these small things with my children, the work will not be as heavy. As the Lord rejoices in giving these good gifts of children to me, I can rejoice in the not-so-small work of laying a firm foundation for their lives.

Healing In the Shadow of the Cross

A week and one day ago, I gave birth to the most beautiful little boy.



Isn't he perfect?!

There was a time during this pregnancy when we wondered if we'd ever get to hold this little one. And if we did get to hold him, we feared that he would not be in our arms for long. I blogged about the healing of little Micah here.

The other day as Micah lay in the sunshine on my bed, I was reminded of how much I have to give thanks for. The sun was streaming in and the frame of the window cast a cross perfectly over little Micah's chest. The same chest that once had fluid around the heart, a diaphragm out of place, a too small chest cavity. The chest that God healed in His perfect way.



I pray that he will always live in the shadow of the cross. And I pray that I will never forget the Giver of this precious gift.

Guest Post: Reflections on a Mother's Prayer by Kristyn Getty

It's May, and that means Mother's Day is just days away. As I anticipate the arrival of my own sweet babe, I'm honored to share with you a guest post from Kristyn Getty. The Getty's have a beautiful song called "A Mother's Prayer" and have created a video featuring their sweet daughter. This is the first video the Getty's have done and it is being released just in time for Mother's Day. Please take time to watch the video and read Kristyn's thoughtful words.


Reflections on A Mother’s Prayer
Kristyn Getty


In the spring of 2008 I first prayed for a baby, and in the spring of 2011 God answered that prayer with the birth of our beautiful daughter. My joy was full but so were the fears I wrestled. In some ways I felt like a baby Christian again, caught in a whirlwind of emotions, learning and applying what I have known and trusted into a completely new life - I know I'm definitely not the first to feel that!

Friends of ours had given us a card when their first son was born; it was full of prayer requests for his little life, a prayer for every day of the month. My prayers were not quite as coherent as those, especially at first, but the urgency of the moment drove me to my knees. “Help her, help me” baby prayers at 3am; prayers as I heard the baby monitor light up in the morning; prayers when I thought of her safety, her soul, her future; prayers with my husband; prayers while Eliza listened in.

When people found out that I was pregnant one of the most frequent comments I received was how my creativity would discover a whole new vista of inspiration as I became a mother. So, when Eliza came I was anticipating a fresh flow of profound poetic thought, but instead I was swept up in the constant flow of changes and feedings and “Old MacDonald had a farm!” I was expecting full sentences, but I was blubbering looking at my beautiful girl! I actually wondered if I'd ever be able to write again. I just about tucked some thoughts away to ponder later when my brain would start to fit itself back together again (still nowhere near a completed process!). As I continued to learn the wonderful balancing act and privilege of mothering, homemaking, writing, traveling and singing, Keith and I began to write a song for Eliza choosing this theme of praying for her, and the end result was “A Mother's Prayer.”

My parents have faithfully prayed for me my whole life, and I remember when I was younger my mum met with other mums to pray for all their children – a “Moms in Touch” group in Belfast. Even just the knowledge of that helped me, and I want Eliza to know we are praying for her and trying to guide her in this context that reaches to the call and purpose of her whole life and an understanding of the Lord's grace and faithfulness. We're now in the toddler stage and some of the prayer needs are shifting. We wanted the song to reflect the different seasons - ones we had discovered and then those still to come. We also wrote it to remind us of our promise to pray for her through all the years we're given. We hope this song for her – and even more our praying for her – might catch her ear and help guide her heart as she grows up.








Kristyn Getty's Mother's Day Prayers/Journals

I noticed an older journal of mine amongst the debris of an Eliza playtime around my bookshelf and sat down to leaf through it. Before the sickness and tiredness of pregnancy, in the days when I had time in abundance and thought I was 'busy', my most focused and best devotional times were always when I journaled. To my shame, through pregnancy, and even now I have not managed to be anywhere near as consistent as I'd like to be or need to be. But in this newly discovered old notebook I read through a few prayers I had scribbled pre and post baby and remembered again God's continuing faithfulness through the transitions of new life, chapters and all the unknown days ahead. It also inspired me to really focus on journaling again! I noted some of the prayers below - they're nothing grand!- but I hope they might help someone in someway...

December 26th 2010 (10 weeks until baby comes)

'Lord, help me not be afraid'


January 4th 2011

Father in heaven,

What a miracle it is that a little one is hidden inside of me and that You are weaving her together piece by piece, inch by inch; that You know all her days before they come to be, her abilities, her struggles, her humor, her disposition, the color of her eyes, the shape of her feet. Such knowledge is too marvelous for me. I praise You for she is fearfully and wonderfully made. Lord please protect her within my womb...'


January 8th 2011 - 8 weeks and 2 days till baby comes

'Thank you for this little child within my womb - may she very early in life add her praise to the great song of praise and that those looking on might see Your goodness and strength through her young voice. Help us teach her Lord, inspire her, make known what is right and how holiness is always beautiful...'

The same day -

'I think today of those ladies I know who long to be mothers remembering my own heartache and how hard it is to wait and not know. Father, please enable them to conceive and carry babies full term. Help them to get through each day fulfilling what it is you have called them to for that moment. May their greatest delight be in You and if children do not come move in their hearts by Your grace that they may not be lost in the distraction or disappointment but know Your healing and purpose for their lives. You know the pain - draw near to them this day'


April 8th 2011 (Eliza is 5 and a 1/2 weeks old)

'Father in heaven, thank You for this new morning and safety and rest through the night as Your unsleeping eye watched over us. Thank You that all our nights and all our days are known and measured by You. Thank You for the joy of family and that You love and care for each member of my family more than I ever could. And yet the love of a mother is both fierce and gentle, strong and tender - thank You for our beautiful baby. Forgive my anxious thoughts, worries and any idolatry in my heart. She is Your child and may I love and serve You well in loving and protecting her to the best of my ability. May I love and honor You by loving and honoring my husband well. Thank You for Your care of me in these last weeks'



First Mothers Day - May 8th 2011

Today is my first Mother's Day as a mother - thank you Lord for enabling me to be a mother and for the precious gift of Eliza in our lives. Help me be a godly and gentle and hardworking and loving and joyful mother to the glory of Christ. May He be first in our hearts as we pray He will be first in Eliza's heart

Enough for All?

I've been slowly making my way through Katie Davis' book Kisses from Katie. I'm reading it slowly not because it's hard to read or uninteresting, but because I'm finding that Katie has so many incredible insights that I really want to chew slowly on them.

For those who don't know of her, Katie Davis left home at as a young woman just out of high school and is pursuing God's calling as a missionary in Uganda. At the time of publication, she had adopted 13 girls and is still only in her mid 20s. She has started a non-profit organization which helps children attain the funds and supplies they need to attend school. She is doing incredible things for the Lord. And her insight into Scripture at such a young age amazes me.

Towards the beginning of the book, Katie shares this profound thought: "God did not make too many people and not enough resources to go around."

It's a simple thought that I'm sure we've all entertained, but one that I have never really put much effort into. I live a comfortable life. I have a large family to care for and work to do so on a budget. We try not to overspend, but we certainly don't lack anything. And even in years of want, the Lord has always provided all we needed and even more. The kind of life Katie describes in Uganda is completely foreign to me. I cannot imagine eating one meal a day, having only one change of clothes, suffering the pain of sores on my feet because I can't afford shoes.

And yet, Katie is completely right. God has provided enough in this world for all the people he has created. So why am I not setting a better example for my children in sharing the bounty God has lavished on us?

There's a second book I'm reading right now. It's part of the curriculum I'm doing with my two oldest children. It's a book on economics by Richard J. Maybury called Whatever Happened to Penny Candy?

Honestly, the word economics scares me. And the thought of trying to teach financial responsibility to my children is daunting. I am after all the person who really truly thought that I would continue to get money out of an ATM even though the bank account tally kept dwindling. Yeah, that's a little embarrassing to admit, but it was a good lesson for me as I struck out on my own for the first time.

Maybury has written a book that is not only understandable for someone like me, but is also a book my children are finding interesting and educational. We're combining it with some studies for kids put out by Crown Financial Ministries. Maybury spends much time in his book explaining inflation - what it is, where it comes from, what the effects are, etc.

One of the quotes I found particularly interesting was this, "At bottom, inflation is an ethics problem. The only way to stop the spread of inflation is to start the spread of ethics. After traveling in 48 states and 45 countries, I have come to believe that all major problems are problems in ethics. When we begin using ethics to attack problems, we will have real, lasting solutions."

Profound!

What this tells me as a mother, as a homemaker, as a consumer, as a woman, as an American, and as a child of God, is that the problems Katie recognizes in Uganda and the problems we are now dealing with as a nation all have the same source. It's not just that people don't know how to use money responsibly - or even how to attain money. It's that we are lacking the ethical decision making necessary to use and gain money wisely.

So, if I am to be teaching my children financial responsibility, I cannot neglect the importance of wisdom. So many proverbs written by King Solomon and included in the Bible come to mind when I think of wisdom in regards to money.

"Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold." Proverbs 3:13-14

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it." Proverbs 3:27

"Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways and be wise. A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man." Proverbs 6:6, 10-11

"The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them. Riches do not profit in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death." Proverbs 11:3-4

"Whoever puts up security for a stranger will surely suffer harm, but he who hates striking hands in pledge is secure." Proverbs 11:15

And here's one that speaks directly to this particular blog post:
"One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want." Proverbs 11:24


I could go on and on quoting from the book of Proverbs. But the recurring and underlying theme is that wise dealings in money, life, and faith lead to profit in all those areas. So as I teach my children financial responsibility and point out potential pitfalls, as I seek to model for them a generous lifestyle, I must couple it with the "whys" set forth in Scripture. The "whys" of the wise.

Large Family Car Travel Tips: Keeping Kids Occupied

Often when I research things about large families, I come up with tips for families that have only 2-4 children. We are a family of 8 (soon). These travel posts are to help bigger families figure out how to survive days of road travel with minimal tension, whining, and stress. Hope it helps, and happy travels!

Other travel posts in this series:
Snacks
Suitcase Organization
Keeping the Car Organized
Special Tips You May Not Know



Let's be honest. Keeping kids happy means keeping your sanity. Our most recent trip included days upon days of driving. So I spent weeks upon weeks working to prepare for it. I spent way more time preparing things to keep the kids busy than I did wondering what to pack or even looking forward to our vacation time. To save you the same amount of preparation, here are some of the tried and true activities that helped us pass the time in busy peace. Our kids all pack their own backpacks with toys and activities, but it's good for mom and dad to have a few surprises waiting.



We've all seen the seek and find jars. These were super easy to make and the kids loved them. I made two that were identical. Just fill a jar with rice (plastic jars are better than glass in case little hands drop them), take pictures of little things found around the house, and place those items in the jar. Then you can print out a card with all the pictures of what the kids need to find, hot glue it to the lid of the jar, and hot glue the lid onto the jar. Be sure to glue the lid. Unless you want rice all over your car.

While we're on the subject of seek and find, if your kids are like mine seek and find books or Where's Waldo books can occupy them for hours. Seriously, hours. Well worth the price of the books.



Those of you with little ones know how excited they get about pictures of family members or things they love. My little one is particularly fascinated with fluffy animals. I purchased 2 little flip photo albums from the dollar store and filled them with pictures printed from my computer. One was all pictures of animals and the other had various items he would recognize from daily life. Things like toys, balls, toes, and foods. He loved them! And since I didn't allow him to play with them before the trip, they were completely new and exciting for him. (On a side note, it helps to actually tape the pictures inside the photo protectors so that little hands can't pull them out.)



Other cheap activities use pipe cleaners and aluminum foil. Pipe cleaners can be bent and re-bent into dozens of different things. If you give kids a variety of colors, they can stay busy for quite some time. Aluminum foil is also great for creativity. Rip off several sections of aluminum foil for each child and let them sculpt the foil into little armies, animals or other fun things. Just be sure they understand the expectation that at the end of the day the sculptures head to the trash. Otherwise you'll have aluminum foil "masterpieces" throughout your vehicle for a long time.



Traveling at nighttime can be tough. The driver needs to keep the lights off inside the vehicle, but it's hard for kids to stay occupied in the dark. The dollar store has little mini clip lights that kids can use for reading or drawing.

And I have yet to meet a kid who will object to having a few glow sticks to play with. Depending on what your kids like, you can get the sticks, the necklaces, the bracelets, or any other assortment of glowing fun. These can also be found at the dollar store for a much cheaper price than places like WalMart or Target. Besides, if you end up at a hotel without a pool, you can always throw a couple of glow sticks into the bathtub for some swimming fun in your room.



Another terrific idea for our toddler was to bring a cookie sheet and some magnetic cars. You can see by the picture how much he loved it! Some car seats have arm rests that include a space between the bottom of the arm rest and the rest of the chair. In such cases, attaching the cookie sheet to the car seat is a piece of cake. Our car seat doesn't have arm "handles" so we ended up drilling holes in the tray and then created a long strap to go around the back of his car seat. We left the cookie sheet hooked to the strap on one side (which also allowed it to hang down against the side of the car when not in use) and just hooked it to the other side of the strap when ready to use it. I picked up a few strong, round magnets at the hardware store and stuck them on the bottom of a few matchbox cars.



Be sure the bottom of the car is flat or else you'll have trouble getting the magnets to stick.



We also used other cookie sheets for our older kids. Our first grader was given a metal tin full of magnetic numbers and letters and he enjoyed spelling out various words. For older kids you can cut out pictures of facial features from magazines and laminate them. Stick magnets on the back and kids have a great time making all sorts of silly faces on their cookie sheets.



In years past, one of the frustrations while driving has been when our kids drop their pencils and crayons. Of course, we want them to stay in their seatbelts, but it can create a long and whiny wait when they can't reach their writing tools until the next rest stop. We've tried tying pencils on to clipboards in the past, and that has worked well, but when space is an issue even a clipboard per child can feel like a space hog. And many clipboards are either too small for a regular sized piece of paper or too large to fit in a child's backpack. For this trip, I used a small zippered bag for each child. In these bags they received two mechanical pencils (so the leads didn't break and leave them useless) of a specific color, a box of new crayons, one dry erase marker, their book light for nighttime, and a small travel pack of tissues. The marker and tissues came in handy for use with their binders (explained below), and the crayons, pencils, and light eliminated the bickering caused by having to share. Plus, by giving each child a specific pencil color I knew who was missing theirs each time we unpacked the van.



The travel binders I made for the kids were tremendously helpful! Each child had a three ring binder filled with various activities and fun papers. Some papers were reusable because they were placed in page protectors and the kids were able to use their dry erase markers to write and a tissue to clean it off. This allowed them to play tic tac toe and travel bingo again and again. Other papers had coloring activities printed from the internet or copied from our own coloring books. And others were given to inspire creativity.



These papers had them creating silly faces, designing cars to get us to our destination faster, imagining what they would do with a thousand dollars, etc. I packed an extra set of papers for each binder to replace the used ones for our trip home. That way, the binders would once again be fresh and new. My favorite paper asked them to draw or write about the best part of the trip. Those papers are great for putting in the scrapbook once you return home!


Of course there are so many other things you can do. One of our children has a kindle and enjoyed several hours playing games and reading on that. A friend lent us a few leap pads and the kids were quietest when playing on those. However, with electronics, it's good to limit the amount of time the kids spend on them each day. Not only can they strain their eyes, but extended use of electronics can also contribute to motion sickness and sore necks. Electronics for toddlers are a little harder to come by, but a friend let us borrow a personal dvd player. About once a day, we'd turn on a Thomas the Tank Engine video and our 18 month old would happily pass through his fussy time of day.

Another life saver in the car was having the sense to bring a few blankets along and to keep the kids' pillows within reach. If anyone was tired enough to nap, they could do so comfortably. And the blankets were great for moderating the temperature in the car with several differing opinions being heard from the backseat.



Having a deck of cards on hand, a few travel games, and a couple of dollar store surprises keeps even a long ride manageable. With a little prep and creativity you can easily pass the hours and days peacefully ... and hopefully happily!

Flash Back to the Future

I'm sitting with a sweet little cuddly boy on my lap. Today he is 19 months old and he has a new fascination with trains. Which means he loves watching Thomas the Tank Engine. It's a special treat since we rarely have the TV on, but today he needed a little mommy time. I have a cold and don't feel great, so a little snuggle time in front of the TV was a perfect option.

As he watches, I can see his adorable profile. His build, hair, and profile remind me so much of his older brother. And as I looked at his sweet face moments ago, I had a vision from days gone by of his older brother sitting and watching Thomas. Enjoying the show with the same interest, the same comfortable, chubby, snuggly little body, the big, blueberry eyes gazing intently at the television.

Today was different though, because as I gazed at my little sunshine, remembering days from years ago, I could see his big brother sitting in the background. Also watching Thomas, but now much bigger. His lanky legs span the length of the couch, he has lost all his baby fat. His hair is still unruly, but somehow it still makes him look older. His feet are so much bigger and smellier than those cute little bricks I used to kiss all day long.

I realized that when this little one on my lap reaches the age his brother is now, big brother will be 20. He'll likely be out of my house, grown, possibly even on his way to marriage! He'll have his sights set on a career, he'll be a man. And the most intense years of my influence will have passed.

I tried to imagine what our little one will be like in 10 years. But just as I can't imagine my big boy as a 20 year old, I also can't imagine my baby as a big boy of 11.

It brought to mind Psalm 90 which talks about the brevity of life, and God's eternal nature. It contains a plea for God to teach us to use our days wisely and to find joy in our work.

Indeed, Lord, grant me joy in the moments of my work as a mother. For as I am finding, those moments accumulate and pass much more quickly than I expect or desire.


Psalm 90
Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations. Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God. You turn men back to dust, saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men." For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning-- though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered. We are consumed by your anger and terrified by your indignation. You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan. The length of our days is seventy years-- or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away. Who knows the power of your anger? For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you. Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Relent, O LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble. May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children. May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us-- yes, establish the work of our hands.

Large Family Car Travel Tips: Snacks

Often when I research things about large families, I come up with tips for families that have only 2-4 children. We are a family of 8 (soon). These travel posts are to help bigger families figure out how to survive days of road travel with minimal tension, whining, and stress. Hope it helps, and happy travels!


Other posts in this travel series:
Suitcase Organization
Special Tips You May Not Know
Keeping the Car Organized
Keeping Kids Occupied


Okay, let's be honest. One of the toughest things about traveling is keeping the kids well fed and happy in the car, but not having to stop every 10 minutes for someone to use the potty. My kids drink a lot. A LOT. They are always thirsty - especially if they're bored in the car. We also have at least one child with an incredibly small bladder. We've been training our kids for quite some time now that when they first feel the urge to go, they actually have about a half hour before they really have to go. That knowledge does help when traveling. Especially in states like Nebraska or New Mexico. There's really nothing for miles and miles and miles ...

However, much as we'd like to postpone potty breaks until they are convenient, we also don't want to deprive our children of fluids. So, we have small water bottles with their names on them. These are metal and have a top that won't spill much even if dumped while open. We fill these in the morning or whenever needed and let the kids have them in the car where they sit. I know some people have the policy of no food or drink in the car, but really, water can't do too much damage. The kids are allowed to drink whenever they want so long as they understand the concept of possibly having to wait up to a half hour to find a restroom. And whenever we do find a restroom, everyone tries to go. Even mom and dad. Otherwise, someone will have to go five minutes after you get on the road again.



Not only do we allow drinks in the car, we also allow snacks. Most of our kids are old enough to clean up after themselves and those that aren't are fed by hand from one of the older kids. We try not to pack really messy snacks and always make sure we have trash recepticles on hand. And it's important to remember to empty the trash every time you stop at a gas station - especially if you have fresh fruit leftovers in the trash!

So here are some ideas for snacks:
Fresh fruit: oranges, grapes, bananas, apples, raisins, craisins ... I'd suggest keeping the grapes in a plastic container with a paper towel on the bottom. Be sure to wash them first! And with the oranges, you'll want to wait and peel them on the day you plan to eat them.



Veggies: carrot sticks, broccoli trees, cherry tomatoes. This all really just depends on what your kids are willing to eat. Celery sticks with peanut butter are also great! And peanut butter now can be bought in little individual packets! Genius!

Snacky stuff: Fruit snacks (gummies in our house), animal crackers, granola bars, cheese or pb filled crackers, pretzels - which are also great for car sickness, mini bagels, goldfish, teddy grahams or graham crackers.

Homemade goodies: Muffins, cookies, homemade granola, trail mix, energy bites.

Spoon foods: pudding, applesauce, jello, yogurt.


One of the favorite things we've done on a long trip is bring special treat bags for each new state we encounter on the way there and the way back. As soon as we cross a state, we all cheer and then everyone gets a treat. It helps to break up the trip and recognize little milestones along the way. These bags have the only candy we allow in the car. Things like smarties, reeses cups, gum (great for states with high elevations), fruit roll ups, etc. Find treats that your kids rarely get and they'll be so excited about each step of the journey.