I have been silent for a long time. In fact my last blog entry was six months ago to the day.
I didn't plan to begin writing again at this exact moment. I have longed to blog many times over the past six months. I have even logged in with fascinating topics swirling in my brain simply to end up staring at the blinking cursor wondering where my words had gone.
Why? I'm not sure if I can explain it. This year has been long and difficult. It has been a year of transitions and a year of hard work. Along with re-learning what it's like to have a baby in the house, we're learning what it's like to parent adolescent boys. I have walked beside my husband as the church transitioned to a healthier, Biblical leadership model. Some of our dreams have changed and others have been re-born. I have transitioned out of pregnancy and back into it. We have changed our homeschooling curriculum and are wading our way through it one day at a time. Transition, change, disappointment, joy, frustration, growth, laughter, tears. My heart is full. Sometimes it feels too full.
That fullness is what has kept me from writing. While many thoughts have swirled in my head and many lessons have been learned, I have not had the ability to write about such things.
Until tonight.
Tonight I was trying to pinpoint the biggest lesson I've learned over the past six months. And here it is: I am weak. Christ is strong.
Profound, right? Absolutely!
No doubt you've offered consolation to a friend with words like these: "Well, God can do anything. Even turn this situation around" or "I'll pray that God gives you the strength you need for ..."
We quote verses to one another.
I Corinthians 1:25 the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.
II Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Sometimes though, I wonder if we really think about the power of these truths as we encourage one another. Recently I have begun to grasp the difference between glibly quoting them as truth and actually understanding and believing the meaning.
Oh trust me, I still have a long way to go before I fully grasp the entirety of my weakness and Christ's strength. My default is still to think that my hard work is what will make the day good or bad, that my abilities should be enough, that my weaknesses are shameful.
But here is the crux.
How I respond to what I can and cannot do reflects on what I believe about the character of God.
When facing an illness - either my own or a loved one's - and I pray for healing, do I truly trust God to heal in whatever way is best: physical or spiritual or both? When attempting to trudge through the never-ending list of to-dos, and failing miserably for the fifth day in a row, do I still ask God to put his priorities first in my life - even if that means my "priorities" may be set aside? When unable to shoulder some of the weight of a loved one's burdens, am I really able to place them into the loving hands of my Savior and leave them there?
These are the things I am learning. I am weak. I cannot do it all. And when I look at the enormity of it all, I'm rather glad I can't! But I do have a God who is strong enough. I have a God who is able to accomplish far more than I can imagine. And even in the hard times, I can trust him with all of life.
And I am left with this:
Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. Hebrews 12:12-13, 28-29
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Glory Days
My locker was cleared out, the yearbook signed, and the tassel on my graduation cap had been switched to the left side signifying my new status as a graduate.
Hallelujah! I was out of high school! And not a day too soon.
I'm not one of those that gets sentimental about my high school days. I wouldn't EVER choose to go back and relive them. In fact, I couldn't wait to shake the dust off my feet and move on.
My lack of nostalgia doesn't stem from any obvious reason. I wasn't bullied, I didn't get poor grades or struggle academically. I had great friends and was involved in several activities. Still, I didn't find high school enjoyable. I hated the cliques, the pettiness. I was restless to move on.
I see so many of my contemporaries look back on high school as the good old days. They actively seek out other classmates (even the ones they didn't like), reminisce about the great events of those four years, and long for the days when their bodies were at the peak of fitness.
Now, I could do with a little less baby weight. And I'd be thrilled to get rid of the aches and pains of aging. But I wouldn't go back for anything.
Why?
Because I'm in my glory days. I'm living my dream right now. I spend each day with my favorite people. I don't have to worry about the dating game, but can rest in the assurance that a man loves me faithfully and completely.
I'm living life at break-neck speed. Often lamenting the fact that I can't get it all done, longing for more hours of sleep, sometimes covered in baby drool, and frequently laughing at situations I could never have imagined.
I have toys on the floor, laundry that sat in the washer overnight, dirty dishes in the sink, and about a million unfinished projects. And yet, I'm happy.
These are the days I'll look back on with great joy. I'll long to smell a freshly bathed baby, hear the silly words of a toddler, witness the look of understanding dawn on a child's face as they understand a new concept, pray with a little one frightened by the storm, marvel at the maturity of a pre-teen, and feel little arms wrap around my neck in a tight squeeze.
Nomatter how tired I am, nomatter how dirty the house, nomatter how time consuming it is to teach right from wrong ... I will choose to revel in these days. Because they are going fast. Before long, I'll be looking back and saying "Remember when ..."
Today is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Earn your keep and keep what you earn
I read an article in this week's World Magazine that has me thinking. In fact, it's something that Josh and I have been talking about for some time. The basic premise of the article is that the need for college training seems to be waning while the demand for those with technical skills is increasing.
The article cites Mike Rowe's words as he testified before the U.S. Senate in 2011. Rowe states that while there is a high unemployment rate in the U.S., there is actually a tremendous need for people with trade skills. There just aren't enough people skilled in specific trades.
Josh and I have heard this idea mentioned by several people and have read about it in a variety of publications over the last several months. I'm sure it's something we'll continue to discuss as our own children speed toward the time when they will need to make decisions about their future careers.
However, regardless of whether our children decide to head the route of learning a trade or studying in college, there are some things that I'm convinced we need to teach our children if they will succeed in life.
The first thing they must learn is a good work ethic. There's a great little book called The Fred Factor. It's about a postman named Fred. Fred is an excellent worker. He is conscientious, goes above and beyond the call of duty, and cares for those he serves. Fred is a good example of how I want my children to behave in whatever God calls them to do.
Teaching diligence and perseverance starts at home. Teaching my children to tackle even the tough jobs begins with cleaning up toys, washing dishes, and watering the garden. Our oldest recently read the book "Do Hard Things" by Brett and Alex Harris. He loved it! The Harris twins challenge teens to go beyond the expectations of society. It's only in recent times that teens have been given a wild card to act out, be disrespectful, and continue their childhood. Throughout history, teens have held incredible responsiblity - some doing work that we wouldn't even expect a 30 year old to tackle nowadays!
So, in mutual agreement, Josh and I have decided that we will be counter-cultural in raising our children to be productive, respectable, honest members of society. Even as teens. But especially as adults. None of this "28 year old man-child living in the basement playing video games and avoiding the job market" stuff for our kids!
The second thing we have decided is of utmost importance to our children's future success is to teach them how to handle money. How many people do you know with absolutley no debt? Not even a mortgage? I know of maybe a handful. Now, I'm not totally against a mortgage, but I do feel that if it can be avoided, it should be.
When Josh and I first got married, we had the attitude that we were entitled to have everything our parents had. We began our marriage by filling our house with all the "necessary" items of life. Right down to a coat rack. As if a coat closet wasn't enough. If we didn't have it and we "needed" it, we bought it. Hang the cost!
It has taken us over a decade to change those habits - and especially to change our way of thinking. For the Christian, the attitude of instant gratification leaves no room for God to provide. It keeps us from bringing our needs to the One who loves to provide in remarkable ways and to receive the glory for it. It also negates the role of the church in providing for one another. How wonderful when a brother in Christ can fix your lawnmower and later you can serve him by tending his garden. We each have different skills and gifts. But when we rely only on ourselves, we neglect to utilize and recognize the remarkable gifts God has given to others.
In terms of spending, we've had some hard lessons to learn. We've been "in plenty" and "in want" in our almost 13 years of marriage. We had three lean years during seminary when we sometimes wondered how we'd pay for groceries or clothe our children. But God always provided and often in extraordinary ways! Now that we have a regular income we have to carefully keep ourselves from foolish spending. We recently switched to using cash only. If the money isn't there, we can't buy it. Our savings and our tithe come out of the paycheck first and the remainder is for us to wisely use for living. Would you believe, we're saving more now than ever before?! The absence of credit card spending has caused us to more carefully evaluate our purchases and to be sure it's something we need before just rushing out to fulfill our wants.
These are things I want my children to learn. A good worker, diligent and trustworthy will be sought after in the workforce. Someone who is mindful of his spending and who has adopted good money habits will have far fewer worries than his contemporaries.
Regardless of what my children choose to do in life, I hope they will regard their work in this way:
"No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be
undertaken with painstaking excellence.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.
And their wealth in this way:
Proverbs 28:6 Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways.
Proverbs 23:4 Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint.
The article cites Mike Rowe's words as he testified before the U.S. Senate in 2011. Rowe states that while there is a high unemployment rate in the U.S., there is actually a tremendous need for people with trade skills. There just aren't enough people skilled in specific trades.
Josh and I have heard this idea mentioned by several people and have read about it in a variety of publications over the last several months. I'm sure it's something we'll continue to discuss as our own children speed toward the time when they will need to make decisions about their future careers.
However, regardless of whether our children decide to head the route of learning a trade or studying in college, there are some things that I'm convinced we need to teach our children if they will succeed in life.
The first thing they must learn is a good work ethic. There's a great little book called The Fred Factor. It's about a postman named Fred. Fred is an excellent worker. He is conscientious, goes above and beyond the call of duty, and cares for those he serves. Fred is a good example of how I want my children to behave in whatever God calls them to do.
Teaching diligence and perseverance starts at home. Teaching my children to tackle even the tough jobs begins with cleaning up toys, washing dishes, and watering the garden. Our oldest recently read the book "Do Hard Things" by Brett and Alex Harris. He loved it! The Harris twins challenge teens to go beyond the expectations of society. It's only in recent times that teens have been given a wild card to act out, be disrespectful, and continue their childhood. Throughout history, teens have held incredible responsiblity - some doing work that we wouldn't even expect a 30 year old to tackle nowadays!
So, in mutual agreement, Josh and I have decided that we will be counter-cultural in raising our children to be productive, respectable, honest members of society. Even as teens. But especially as adults. None of this "28 year old man-child living in the basement playing video games and avoiding the job market" stuff for our kids!
The second thing we have decided is of utmost importance to our children's future success is to teach them how to handle money. How many people do you know with absolutley no debt? Not even a mortgage? I know of maybe a handful. Now, I'm not totally against a mortgage, but I do feel that if it can be avoided, it should be.
When Josh and I first got married, we had the attitude that we were entitled to have everything our parents had. We began our marriage by filling our house with all the "necessary" items of life. Right down to a coat rack. As if a coat closet wasn't enough. If we didn't have it and we "needed" it, we bought it. Hang the cost!
It has taken us over a decade to change those habits - and especially to change our way of thinking. For the Christian, the attitude of instant gratification leaves no room for God to provide. It keeps us from bringing our needs to the One who loves to provide in remarkable ways and to receive the glory for it. It also negates the role of the church in providing for one another. How wonderful when a brother in Christ can fix your lawnmower and later you can serve him by tending his garden. We each have different skills and gifts. But when we rely only on ourselves, we neglect to utilize and recognize the remarkable gifts God has given to others.
In terms of spending, we've had some hard lessons to learn. We've been "in plenty" and "in want" in our almost 13 years of marriage. We had three lean years during seminary when we sometimes wondered how we'd pay for groceries or clothe our children. But God always provided and often in extraordinary ways! Now that we have a regular income we have to carefully keep ourselves from foolish spending. We recently switched to using cash only. If the money isn't there, we can't buy it. Our savings and our tithe come out of the paycheck first and the remainder is for us to wisely use for living. Would you believe, we're saving more now than ever before?! The absence of credit card spending has caused us to more carefully evaluate our purchases and to be sure it's something we need before just rushing out to fulfill our wants.
These are things I want my children to learn. A good worker, diligent and trustworthy will be sought after in the workforce. Someone who is mindful of his spending and who has adopted good money habits will have far fewer worries than his contemporaries.
Regardless of what my children choose to do in life, I hope they will regard their work in this way:
"No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be
undertaken with painstaking excellence.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.
And their wealth in this way:
Proverbs 28:6 Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways.
Proverbs 23:4 Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
A Few Good Books
A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I had started reading Mary Beth Chapman's book, Choosing to See. I have now finished the book and can say that I'd highly recommend it. It's not just a book about grief. It tells Mary Beth's story. The story of how she has repeatedly had to let go of her own agenda to let God do his great work in her life. And what a work it has been!
She writes with wonderful humor. I'm not a person that typically laughs out loud while reading - or even watching movies, for that matter - but Mary Beth shares her stories so descriptively that the giggles just bubbled up out of me. And it left me very thankful that I don't have nearly as many embarassing stories as she does!
Mary Beth also candidly shares about the pain of losing a child. The last several chapters are all blog and journal entries from the year and half following Maria's death. I was surprised at how fresh the grief was even after a year or more. But that's why this book is so important! For someone who has not faced such intense grief, it's so helpful to know that others may still be severely struggling long after their loved one has passed. So as a friend, I need to show compassion, provide a listening ear, and practice patience a I hold someone's hand through their long-term grief.
I have a few favorite quotes from the book, but since I may incorporate them into a talk for our upcoming women's retreat, I'll wait to share them.
What's next on my reading list?
First, a book that has inspired my pre-teen: Do Hard Things by Brett and Alex Harris. These two young men are calling teens to do more than society expects of them and have started a Rebelution. We asked our son to read this recently and then had him write a book report on it. Let me tell you, that was the best book report I've ever read! If you have a teen or work with teens, I'd highly recommend the book.
And next in my que: Under the Overpass by Mike Yankoski. Mike and a friend set out to live the life of the homeless in six cities across the U.S. for over five months. I have heard him interviewed and am captivated by his story and what he learned. I can't wait to delve into this one!
She writes with wonderful humor. I'm not a person that typically laughs out loud while reading - or even watching movies, for that matter - but Mary Beth shares her stories so descriptively that the giggles just bubbled up out of me. And it left me very thankful that I don't have nearly as many embarassing stories as she does!
Mary Beth also candidly shares about the pain of losing a child. The last several chapters are all blog and journal entries from the year and half following Maria's death. I was surprised at how fresh the grief was even after a year or more. But that's why this book is so important! For someone who has not faced such intense grief, it's so helpful to know that others may still be severely struggling long after their loved one has passed. So as a friend, I need to show compassion, provide a listening ear, and practice patience a I hold someone's hand through their long-term grief.
I have a few favorite quotes from the book, but since I may incorporate them into a talk for our upcoming women's retreat, I'll wait to share them.
What's next on my reading list?
First, a book that has inspired my pre-teen: Do Hard Things by Brett and Alex Harris. These two young men are calling teens to do more than society expects of them and have started a Rebelution. We asked our son to read this recently and then had him write a book report on it. Let me tell you, that was the best book report I've ever read! If you have a teen or work with teens, I'd highly recommend the book.
And next in my que: Under the Overpass by Mike Yankoski. Mike and a friend set out to live the life of the homeless in six cities across the U.S. for over five months. I have heard him interviewed and am captivated by his story and what he learned. I can't wait to delve into this one!
Disturbed, Shocked, and Very Sad
One of the most disturbing things I've read: An article advocating after-birth abortion.
Oh, Lord, come quickly and heal this land!
Oh, Lord, come quickly and heal this land!
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