Sunday, January 27, 2013
Mezuzah: A reminder of my calling
Josh returned from his trip to Israel a few days ago and one of the souveniers he brought home is a Mezuzah. A Mezuzah is a small wooden box that is placed on the doorframe of your home. Inside it contains a small piece of parchment on which are written the verses from Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and 11:13-21. It is to be a reminder to you each time you enter your home.
We have not yet placed our Mezuzah on the doorframe but I am thrilled that we will soon have this reminder of my favorite verses displayed prominently in our home. This small section of Scripture from Deuteronomy 6 has become my set of life verses for this intense mothering stage of life.
ESV Deuteronomy 6:4-9 "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Just before this in chapter 5 God had given the Israelites the ten commandments. And then he said these words.
I love the sequence here.
First, God tells us what he expects. Then he reminds us of who he is. Next he tells us how to live as he expects. And lastly, he reminds us of why this is important.
In living out our faith and parenting our children, every single step of this sequence is necessary.
1. God's expectations. God gives us the 10 commandments. Which by the way, were not written because he's a scrooge, but for our benefit. Think about it ... a requirement to rest? Umm, yeah. That's a pretty good thing. Children told to obey and honor their parents? I'm happy I can remind my kids of that! Do not murder, do not steal, do not commit adultery? God is showing us what to avoid in order to keep ourselves from a world of hurt.
So many times I have heard people say that the 10 commandments are God's rules, but that because we sin we can never really expect to live up to them. Carolyn Mahaney says, "For whenever God gives a command, He also provides the grace to obey it." The issue of obedience, then, really comes down to a choice of our will. It's not a matter of if we can obey, but of whether we will choose to obey. There is always a choice to obey or disobey. And God's Word tells us that he will always provide a way out of temptation (I Corinthians 10:13). But although God will always provide a way out, it's up to us to take it.
For many years, it has been helpful to me to think of God's commands as guardrails in my life. On the road you will often see guardrails set up to keep cars from careening into a ditch or off a cliff. Or sometimes they serve to keep us from traffic moving the other direction. As drivers, we don't look at these guardrails and think of them as a nuisance or a hindrance to our driving fun. Rather we recognize that they were put there for our safety and our benefit. It is the same with God's commands. They are not a hindrance to our growth and spiritual health. Rather they protect us from the dangers of sin. They can remind us to swerve away from things that would head us in the wrong direction. They can even save us from death!
2. God tells us who he is. Okay, so the 10 commandments are for our benefit, but they are also for God's. He is the Creator. He made us. I made a cake last week. How would it be if that cake could talk and tell me exactly when I could eat it, how much I could eat, which utensils to use, and what to put alongside it? A poor comparison, but still we are the created ones. We were intentionally designed, and as such, the One who created us really does have the right to call the shots. God is God. I am not. He deserves all the glory for, control of, and honor from our lives.
3. God tells us how to live according to his rules. How is this accomplished? It is taught to children from infancy. This really goes hand in hand with the verse from Proverbs 22:6. "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." These verses in Deuteronomy 6 give us the "how to". They tell us exactly what to do as parents to ensure that our children will grow up to be godly men and women. So, what do we do? We include our faith in every facet of life. We talk about God and godly living at all opportunities. We set up reminders for ourselves and our children of God's standards, sacrifice, forgiveness, and love. Easy, right? Not by a long shot. Even just recognizing the teachable moments can be difficult. Actually setting aside our adult agenda to seize those moments is doubly as hard. And yet, this is what parents are called to. Not a great paying job to provide the latest gadgets; not well-rounded, activity exhausted children; not even the most rigorous education. We are to be teaching our children about the one true God at every opportunity!
4. God tells us why. Verses 10-12 continue in this way:
"And when the LORD your God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you- with great and good cities that you did not build, and houses full of all good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant- and when you eat and are full, then take care lest you forget the LORD, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery."
Did you catch it? We are to do these things, lest we "forget the LORD". The church has been crying out about the mass exodus of teens and young adults within the Christian Church in recent years. These yount people have forgotten the Lord. And sure, there are plenty of reasons why that is, but I have to wonder if maybe the main reason is because the parents (in general) haven't been diligent in teaching their children as Deuteronomy 6 instructs.
There's one other reason embedded in these verses of why we are to live this way. We are to teach our children because God has saved us. Sometimes we say this so glibbly. So let me shout it: GOD HAS SAVED US!!! This is huge! This is the biggest thing! The one amazing fact that we should never tire of shouting from the rooftops! God has saved us! In these verses, it refers specifically to Egypt, but wouldn't you agree that God has also saved us (you and me) from slavery to sin? Jesus' incredible sacrifice on the cross should so alter our lives that it's the one thing we tell our children about again and again. It should be the thing we speak of with the most passion, the most fervency, the most awe. It should be the one thing we are teaching our children day in and day out so that they and we won't forget. The why of these verses is so astonishingly amazing, that it should drive us to speak of it in every conversation.
Are you catching on? Are you starting to see the importance of these verses? Really reflecting on these verses over the past several years has transformed my view of and approach to parenting. It prioritizes our activities, our education, our desires as a family. It is the challenge I need on those days when I just want to hide in the closet. It is the encouragement I long for when looking at the daunting task ahead of me as I raise my children. And it is the reminder of the great saving work that God has done in my own life.
It is my calling as a mother.
Monday, January 21, 2013
In the Master's Footprints
My husband is wrapping up his dream vacation.
Several months ago I asked him where he would most like to travel. I told him to dream as big as he wanted - since it was just a dreaming sort of question. No cost too high, no mileage too far, no obstacles in the way.
His answer came in a heartbeat: Israel.
Hmm. Not my first choice. Sure, there are many things I'd like to see there, but there are also many other places I'd love to visit first.
But tonight, as I reflected on the excitement and joy in his voice as he described over the phone the adventures he's having, I began to understand the difference in our desires.
I'm in a season when mothering permeates every teeny tiny aspect of life. So, if you ask me what I like to cook it will be simple, healthy, hearty foods. Because that's what I make for my family. If you ask what my favorite things are you'd hear answers like sleep, baby laughter, a few moments of peace, watching understanding dawn on a child's face, completed chores.
It stands to reason, then, that when presented with the question of a dream vacation, my mothering instincts will come into play. Israel is not the safest place. I would not EVER desire to take my young children there for a vacation. I wouldn't want both parents to go there without children in case we didn't come back for some reason. It's across an ocean. Etc., etc., etc.
Sure, I've had my twinges of longing to be with my husband experiencing the wonderous things he is enjoying. I would love to take a boat ride on the Sea of Galilee. I would find it fascinating to see a real first century tomb complete with a rolling stone. And oh, the incredible mixture of sorrow and joy when standing at Calvary!
But my mother heart wouldn't do it. I am tied here for now. Someday, I'll hopefully travel again, but not now. Not to places of unrest. And not for two weeks without my children.
Josh's heart is in a different place though. While he speaks of his longing to see his family once again, I still hear the thrill in his voice as he shares about his trip. For him, the trip is not about leaving home and going somewhere else. The trip is about understanding his Master more fully.
Josh derives joy from being where Jesus was. From experiencing a few of the same things as his Lord - even if it's just weather, sights, and smells. He is like a servant who loves his master so much that he cannot help but be amazed to walk a step behind, placing his feet in the same prints left by the master's sandals.
My husband's perspective is right. He does not need to visit Israel to prove to himself that Jesus is real, or to truly believe the Bible. But because of his dedication and love for the Son of God he cannot help but desire to go where he was, see the land that is beloved of our Lord, and gain a richer, fuller, deeper understanding of the Word.
Oh, that my heart would be in that same place! Because even here at home, I can thrill to walk a step behind my Master and serve Him however He enables. That goal will not hinder my mothering heart in the least.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Little Bites of Deliciousness!
A friend passed on this simple recipe a few years ago and we've been enjoying it ever since. I'm not really sure what to call these - we usually name them something like "oatmeal energy balls". But they are delicious!!
2 Cups Oats
1/2 Cup Honey
3/4 Cup Peanut Butter
Add whatever else you'd like. We usually add chocolate chips, although cheerios, raisins, nuts, butterscotch chips, or really anything small would be awesome in them.
Mix all ingredients together and then roll into balls.
**Note: When rolling, it will really help if your hands are damp. Otherwise the mixture will be incredibly sticky.
Refrigerate until ready to eat so they can firm up a bit. Enjoy!
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Healthful Correction
I mentioned recently that I've been reading Carolyn Mahaney's book, Feminine Appeal. Today I was steeped in the chapter about loving your children.
In this particular phase of life, this chapter was so very appropriate. Jesse has just hit toddlerhood, and while we've been through this four other times, it's a little different now. To begin with, he's got four older siblings happy to play with him, indulge his whims, and join him in his exploits. Josh and I are also several years older and I'm pregnant again ... which translates to tired and possibly a little bit lazy in regards to consistency in parenting.
Just this week Jesse has begun to tantrum. And it's not a little tantrum. It's an angry yell that goes on and on and on. His cute little face scrunches up and turns red. He squeezes out tears even though he's not actually crying. He pushes us away unless we hold a coveted item, and is much harder to distract than our other kids were. Just look at this impish little guy!
In just this week alone, there have been several times when I've been tempted to just give in and let him have his way. But today I read a quote that was a huge encouragement.
"Far better that children should cry under healthful correction, than that parents should afterwards cry under the bitter fruit to themselves and children, of neglected discipline." - Charles Bridges
This quote was originally written in the 1800s. Typically I think of children as much more structured and behaved back then. I wonder what Bridges would say today?! I see so many parents and children "crying afterwards" because of the neglect of discipline. We have, in general, raised soft children with soft morals and poor work ethic.
The Bible echoes this same sentiment in Proverbs 13:24, "If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don't love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them." (NLT)
Our children don't enjoy discipline. And let's face it, parents don't much enjoy it either! It's inconvenient, it's unpopular, it's difficult to discipline well and in a fitting manner, and sometimes it feels like a never ending job (especially when you have many children).
But something Mahaney said in the book stuck with me today.
"...the salvation of our children's souls ... is the chief end of mothering. Our goal is not that our children be happy, fulfilled, and successful. Granted, we may desire these things for them. But our highest objective should be that our children would repent from their sins, put their trust in Jesus Christ, and reflect the gospel to the world around them."
While I do want my children to be happy, fulfilled, and successful, those goals alone are not the aim of my parenting. In fact, as I sit here and write about my struggles with a toddler, I am also recognizing the fruit of healthy correction and parenting toward salvation in my oldest child.
Tonight, my son will receive a big award at Awana.
Of his own accord, he has worked incredibly hard to finish four books in just 2 1/2 years. The Awana program lays out one book per year, so this is quite an accomplishment. Each book is filled with Bible verses that a child must memorize in order to pass each section. There are also activities pushing the kids to think beyond themselves towards missions, family, community, and outreach. David has recognized the importance of these goals and has taken seriously the task of hiding God's word in his heart. A few times, I have wondered if he has memorized these verses just for the recitation on Wednesday nights or if he really will remember them. But as he helps his siblings with their verses, I hear him rattle off verses and know that these words are indeed embedded in his mind and heart.
On Christmas day we asked each of the children to give us an idea of what they are praying for in their own lives. David's request was that he would know the Scriptures as well as Jesus did while on earth! Oh my! What a request!!! And yet, he's well on his way. At just 12 years old, he has memorized more verses than I have. Josh and I have always prayed that our children would surpass us in the faith and we see it happening. We just didn't realize it would happen while they were still young! But what a blessing to behold. The chief end of our parenting is not to raise happy, well-rounded, good-at-everything children. The chief end is to point them to Christ. If we do that well, they will do well in life. Because, let's face it, what better person is there to emulate than Jesus Christ? Take a little time to read about him and you'll see that there was no one more compassionate, kind, gentle, humble, strong, self-controlled, etc. than Him. That's who I want my children to be like.
So yes, I will continue to correct my children, to point them to the truths of Scripture, and to love them intensely. That is my calling as a mother.
In this particular phase of life, this chapter was so very appropriate. Jesse has just hit toddlerhood, and while we've been through this four other times, it's a little different now. To begin with, he's got four older siblings happy to play with him, indulge his whims, and join him in his exploits. Josh and I are also several years older and I'm pregnant again ... which translates to tired and possibly a little bit lazy in regards to consistency in parenting.
Just this week Jesse has begun to tantrum. And it's not a little tantrum. It's an angry yell that goes on and on and on. His cute little face scrunches up and turns red. He squeezes out tears even though he's not actually crying. He pushes us away unless we hold a coveted item, and is much harder to distract than our other kids were. Just look at this impish little guy!
In just this week alone, there have been several times when I've been tempted to just give in and let him have his way. But today I read a quote that was a huge encouragement.
"Far better that children should cry under healthful correction, than that parents should afterwards cry under the bitter fruit to themselves and children, of neglected discipline." - Charles Bridges
This quote was originally written in the 1800s. Typically I think of children as much more structured and behaved back then. I wonder what Bridges would say today?! I see so many parents and children "crying afterwards" because of the neglect of discipline. We have, in general, raised soft children with soft morals and poor work ethic.
The Bible echoes this same sentiment in Proverbs 13:24, "If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don't love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them." (NLT)
Our children don't enjoy discipline. And let's face it, parents don't much enjoy it either! It's inconvenient, it's unpopular, it's difficult to discipline well and in a fitting manner, and sometimes it feels like a never ending job (especially when you have many children).
But something Mahaney said in the book stuck with me today.
"...the salvation of our children's souls ... is the chief end of mothering. Our goal is not that our children be happy, fulfilled, and successful. Granted, we may desire these things for them. But our highest objective should be that our children would repent from their sins, put their trust in Jesus Christ, and reflect the gospel to the world around them."
While I do want my children to be happy, fulfilled, and successful, those goals alone are not the aim of my parenting. In fact, as I sit here and write about my struggles with a toddler, I am also recognizing the fruit of healthy correction and parenting toward salvation in my oldest child.
Tonight, my son will receive a big award at Awana.
Of his own accord, he has worked incredibly hard to finish four books in just 2 1/2 years. The Awana program lays out one book per year, so this is quite an accomplishment. Each book is filled with Bible verses that a child must memorize in order to pass each section. There are also activities pushing the kids to think beyond themselves towards missions, family, community, and outreach. David has recognized the importance of these goals and has taken seriously the task of hiding God's word in his heart. A few times, I have wondered if he has memorized these verses just for the recitation on Wednesday nights or if he really will remember them. But as he helps his siblings with their verses, I hear him rattle off verses and know that these words are indeed embedded in his mind and heart.
On Christmas day we asked each of the children to give us an idea of what they are praying for in their own lives. David's request was that he would know the Scriptures as well as Jesus did while on earth! Oh my! What a request!!! And yet, he's well on his way. At just 12 years old, he has memorized more verses than I have. Josh and I have always prayed that our children would surpass us in the faith and we see it happening. We just didn't realize it would happen while they were still young! But what a blessing to behold. The chief end of our parenting is not to raise happy, well-rounded, good-at-everything children. The chief end is to point them to Christ. If we do that well, they will do well in life. Because, let's face it, what better person is there to emulate than Jesus Christ? Take a little time to read about him and you'll see that there was no one more compassionate, kind, gentle, humble, strong, self-controlled, etc. than Him. That's who I want my children to be like.
So yes, I will continue to correct my children, to point them to the truths of Scripture, and to love them intensely. That is my calling as a mother.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Dining Room Reveal
When we moved here six and a half years ago, I began begging to tear out the carpet in the dining room. And last week it finally happened!
We arrived here on June 1st, 2006 with four children aged 5 and under. We were coming from a small apartment in St. Louis and were thrilled to finally have a place to spread out. When we arrived at 12am, we walked in the door and were surprised on many levels. Wonderfully surprised that the church had held a "pounding" and collected pantry supplies for us. Wonderfully surprised that someone had left a blow up mattress on the floor and bunk beds in one of the kids' bedrooms.
Horribly surprised that the moment we opened the front door all we could smell was cat pee. We knew the previous owners had a cat, but had no idea that the cat had peed in several places. The worst was on the carpet by the front door. Did I mention my husband is allergic to cats??
One of the very first things we did was to rip out the offensive section of carpet by the front door and install a cabinet - affectionately known as the CPC or Cat Pee Cover.
The monostrosity was wonderful for housing our fancy dishes and some larger kitchen items. But also became a collecting place for all mail and other junk that came in the front door. It also closed off the entryway and created a bottleneck every time we tried to leave the house or come home. Oh, the fights our children have had there!
Fast forward six years and one of my biggest to-do items was to get rid of the CPC! I was so sick of the arguments caused by such a small space for putting on shoes and coats. I was tired of cleaning it off only to have it covered with stuff a day later. Thankully, my husband is a genius and repurposed the CPC into a lovely shoe shelf with room for the many sneakers, cleats, boots and sandals we seem to acquire.
Once the CPC was gone, we didn't have a choice but to address the flooring issue. But first we decided to paint while the old carpet was still in place. It's also important to know that the dining room is where we do the majority of our homeschooling. I had originally painted the dining room a beautiful, rich red. Did you know that red in the dining area is supposed to help with digestion? Apparently, it does not help with concentration. The room has poor lighting and only gets the early morning sun. So with dark walls and now dark carpet (thanks to all the spots), my kids felt sleepy instead of energized to work hard.
Now we have a beautiful, bright, cheerful room for working and eating. And my dishes still match! We added the chair rail to dress it up a bit and changed all the trim to white. I love it.
Next to address the carpet. Who in their right mind puts cream colored carpet in a dining room?! It wasn't pretty when we arrived, but after six years of abuse from our kids it was hideous. It had turned into a catalog of our food mishaps ... smooshed oreo over here, spaghetti over there, and a mashed fruit snack stuck in the threads center stage. Gross.
(When we tore out the kitchen flooring we found a lovely spot that was all rotted near the sliding doors. Josh had the delightful job of ripping out the rot and installing new subflooring in that area. Did I mention he's handy to have around?)
We finished just in time to have the floor guys come and install our Pergo wood floors. Oh happy day! Look at how beautiful this is.
The gorgeous quilt on the wall is an heirloom piece begun by my great aunt, and passed on to me by my aunt. It was quilted by a friend from our church and is such a treasure to have. I couldn't bear to keep it hidden away in a chest or to put it on a bed and have it destroyed by munchkins. The wall seems the perfect place for it until the kids are older.
The room feels huge and I find that I love to be in it. There are still a few projects left to do: I have a deacons bench that will go on the empty wall across from the front door (where Jesse's booster seat is in the picture). And we haven't yet decided which framed artwork will hang above it. The deacons bench will provide a great place for us to sit while putting on shoes and will house our diaper bag and camera bag inside the bench.
I also need curtains for the window. We used to have lace curtains, but that's much too old lady for this room. Instead, my mother-in-law has offered to help me make some curtains next week. I can't wait to fabric shop and see what we find.
I'm just so pleased with the results of this room. It is well worth the wait. And now, I won't feel sick to my stomach when I see my little Micah crawling on the dining room floor in a few months.
Oh, and did I mention we also did the kitchen floor? Love that too! And the new kitchen rug by the sink just makes me smile. Yay for renovations!
We arrived here on June 1st, 2006 with four children aged 5 and under. We were coming from a small apartment in St. Louis and were thrilled to finally have a place to spread out. When we arrived at 12am, we walked in the door and were surprised on many levels. Wonderfully surprised that the church had held a "pounding" and collected pantry supplies for us. Wonderfully surprised that someone had left a blow up mattress on the floor and bunk beds in one of the kids' bedrooms.
Horribly surprised that the moment we opened the front door all we could smell was cat pee. We knew the previous owners had a cat, but had no idea that the cat had peed in several places. The worst was on the carpet by the front door. Did I mention my husband is allergic to cats??
One of the very first things we did was to rip out the offensive section of carpet by the front door and install a cabinet - affectionately known as the CPC or Cat Pee Cover.
The monostrosity was wonderful for housing our fancy dishes and some larger kitchen items. But also became a collecting place for all mail and other junk that came in the front door. It also closed off the entryway and created a bottleneck every time we tried to leave the house or come home. Oh, the fights our children have had there!
Fast forward six years and one of my biggest to-do items was to get rid of the CPC! I was so sick of the arguments caused by such a small space for putting on shoes and coats. I was tired of cleaning it off only to have it covered with stuff a day later. Thankully, my husband is a genius and repurposed the CPC into a lovely shoe shelf with room for the many sneakers, cleats, boots and sandals we seem to acquire.
Once the CPC was gone, we didn't have a choice but to address the flooring issue. But first we decided to paint while the old carpet was still in place. It's also important to know that the dining room is where we do the majority of our homeschooling. I had originally painted the dining room a beautiful, rich red. Did you know that red in the dining area is supposed to help with digestion? Apparently, it does not help with concentration. The room has poor lighting and only gets the early morning sun. So with dark walls and now dark carpet (thanks to all the spots), my kids felt sleepy instead of energized to work hard.
Now we have a beautiful, bright, cheerful room for working and eating. And my dishes still match! We added the chair rail to dress it up a bit and changed all the trim to white. I love it.
Next to address the carpet. Who in their right mind puts cream colored carpet in a dining room?! It wasn't pretty when we arrived, but after six years of abuse from our kids it was hideous. It had turned into a catalog of our food mishaps ... smooshed oreo over here, spaghetti over there, and a mashed fruit snack stuck in the threads center stage. Gross.
(When we tore out the kitchen flooring we found a lovely spot that was all rotted near the sliding doors. Josh had the delightful job of ripping out the rot and installing new subflooring in that area. Did I mention he's handy to have around?)
We finished just in time to have the floor guys come and install our Pergo wood floors. Oh happy day! Look at how beautiful this is.
The gorgeous quilt on the wall is an heirloom piece begun by my great aunt, and passed on to me by my aunt. It was quilted by a friend from our church and is such a treasure to have. I couldn't bear to keep it hidden away in a chest or to put it on a bed and have it destroyed by munchkins. The wall seems the perfect place for it until the kids are older.
The room feels huge and I find that I love to be in it. There are still a few projects left to do: I have a deacons bench that will go on the empty wall across from the front door (where Jesse's booster seat is in the picture). And we haven't yet decided which framed artwork will hang above it. The deacons bench will provide a great place for us to sit while putting on shoes and will house our diaper bag and camera bag inside the bench.
I also need curtains for the window. We used to have lace curtains, but that's much too old lady for this room. Instead, my mother-in-law has offered to help me make some curtains next week. I can't wait to fabric shop and see what we find.
I'm just so pleased with the results of this room. It is well worth the wait. And now, I won't feel sick to my stomach when I see my little Micah crawling on the dining room floor in a few months.
Oh, and did I mention we also did the kitchen floor? Love that too! And the new kitchen rug by the sink just makes me smile. Yay for renovations!
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