Last night's imagination-bending, silly dinner story:
There once was a horse named Crazy Legs. Crazy Legs got his name because every time he ran, he threw his legs about causing a very funny sight. People loved Crazy Legs because he was so silly.
Crazy Legs lived in a barn on top of a dugout. His owner, Mr. Sigfreid Gagenduffel lived in the dugout with his wife. But, Mr. Gagenduffel was not happy with Crazy Legs. Every morning at 5am, Crazy Legs would awaken and begin running around his barn in circles, effectively disturbing the sleep of Mr. and Mrs. Gagenduffel.
One day Mr. Gagenduffel had had enough! He marched up to the barn and placed a yoke on Crazy Legs' neck. He tied Crazy Legs to the barn and told him to "giddap". But Crazy Legs only laid down in the grass. Mr. Gagenduffel was angry and yelled at Crazy Legs to get up. Crazy Legs, who had never once spoken a word, turned to Mr. Gagenduffel and said, "I'm going to take a nap," and he promptly fell asleep.
Well, that didn't make Mr. Gagenduffel very happy. He had to wake that horse! So, he went down into the dugout and grabbed a hammer. He took that hammer to where Crazy Legs was sleeping and hammered on the pillow by Crazy Legs' head. Of course, that didn't wake Crazy Legs. So Mr. Gagenduffel went into his dugout again and this time came out with cotton balls (otherwise known as boofer balls). Mr. Gagenduffel stuffed the cotton balls into Crazy Legs' ears and hammered away again. Once again, Crazy Legs did not wake up.
Mr. Gagenduffel was so upset at this point, that he went one last time into his dugout and grabbed a pair of cymbals. He marched back to Crazy Legs and crashed those cymbals just over Crazy Legs' head. Crazy Legs was so startled that he jumped up and ran! And when he ran, it caused the barn to move. But instead of moving forward, the barn collapsed with a great crash and landed heavily on the roof of the dugout causing the dugout roof to collapse.
Poor Mrs. Gagenduffel (Gertrude to her friends) was trapped under a beam halfway in and halfway out of the dugout. She yelled and yelled, begging her dear Sigfreid to save her. Sigfreid Gagendfuffel forgot all about Crazy Legs and ran to rescue his wife. He counted, "One ... Two ... Three!" and gave a great pull. Gertrude tumbled out from under the rubble and banged her head onto the hard ground. She received a terrible bruise, but was otherwise alright.
Well, Mr. and Mrs. Gagenduffel now had no house. Instead they had to live in the rubble of the dugout and barn with Crazy Legs. And each night, Crazy Legs would thrash in his sleep with his legs kicking every which way. It always woke the Gagenduffels and they were miserable.
The moral of this story depends on who you talk to:
- Don't wake a sleeping horse.
- Don't build a barn on top of a dugout.
- Always remember that boofer balls won't wake a horse!