We've been in a drought. No, not that kind of a drought. A babysitting drought.
We moved to this state four years ago and since we were immediately plugged into a church, we had immediate pickings for babysitters. The one problem is that our church has a shortage of high school and college students. However, we found one that we loved and who loved our kids and it worked wonderfully for two years.
And then she went to college. Far away. And we were left without a babysitter. So for two years we have been trying to find someone wonderful who will happily spend time with our four active, but pretty obedient children.
Many adults in the church have volunteered for the job. But there's a problem with that. While we love our friends, many have grown children or no children - which means we can't return the favor to them. And since they refuse any sort of payment, that leaves us feeling like we really shouldn't ask often. I mean, you don't want to abuse somebody's generosity!
It got to the point this winter where we went through a 5 month period of no dates and no time away from the kids. Frankly, that's just too long for a busy couple who really wants to spend time reconnecting in their marriage on a regular basis.
But last night, the rain came! We finally found a babysitter who our kids loved and who was great with them. Plus, since she's just going into high school, she'll be around for four years!! I think we're long overdue for a date ... or two!
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you know...I would rethink that "not wanting to abuse somebody's generosity" thing. my guess is people wouldn't offer unless they really meant it, really wanted to serve/bless you. abusing their generosity would mean expecting them to be available every Friday night. but *never* asking them robs them of the opportunity to serve and give, and robs you of the opportunity to be blessed and served.
ReplyDeleteI remember before we had kids, I longed to serve some of the other moms in the church by watching their kids. I didn't want them to pay me--I just wanted to be a blessing to them. that's what the body of Christ does! and I was frustrated by how few moms would actually take me up on my offer (or the one mom who, after I refused to let her pay me, wasted her money on a dumb, generic gift :P
anyway...glad you found a sitter...but don't be afraid to ask the other church adults! we don't always have to "return the favor" when people do something for us...it's called GRACE :) not to mention, knowing you and Josh, I bet you two are already serving these other people in plenty of other ways.
anyway, just my $.02 ;)
Amy, you are absolutely right about the need for the body of Christ to be helping each other without "needing" reciprocation. And we do practice that. But, there are so many that we've called on so many times! And to be honest, our kids love to get to know "big kids". Not to mention that it's a great in with the kids in the community when you can use them as babysitters in your home.
ReplyDeleteI don't disagree with you in any sense, but I also know that we've been hitting a wall. Adults who are both working are often exhausted and calling them frequently to babysit does begin to exact some wear. And in truth, we occasionally get the impression that people feel they have to say yes because Josh is the pastor. Our church has been so very generous with their time, though! We're truly thankful that our kids have so many wonderful influences. :)
Especially for church functions, we're not at all concerned with asking for help from within the church. But for a date, sometimes it's just nice to get out and not have it involve calling several people to work out a time.